I have never been married, but I have had similar experiences with my long term relationships. Like the sudden divorce syndrome, I have had a girlfriend of 4 years wake up one morning and decide it was over - no real reason beyond her feelings.
Like the men in this article - I had no clue until she dropped the bomb. I had provided everything she wanted, done everything she asked and yet her "feelings" were lost. Overnight.
This was obviously written for women to justify their actions, but it is more so a warning to men - never give your heart to a modern woman. These women demonstrate how modern women have absolutely no conscience and lack the ability to empathize with men.
Even if they did mean it when they said they "love" you at that particular moment, their emotions are so volatile that in the next moment, they can arbitrarily dismiss you. Their morals and values will change depending on their emotional state, and with whatever they think they can get away with at the time - using deceit, sandbagging and emotional terrorism.
Unknown
I debated whether or not to post the above because although I think the last 2 paragraphs are gold I've always had a problem with adults (regardless of gender) who claim to have had no clue that they were about to be dumped or their partner was cheating. By definition, the average Joe or Joanne is not an Oscar caliber actor so signs that there's trouble in paradise are usually always there for anyone with eyes to see. Admittedly, the signs are often quite subtle but if we really know and are in tune with the other person subtlety is no excuse. The problem is not that there are no signs, it's that, for whatever reasons, we usually just choose to ignore them - "There are no victims, only volunteers" - been there, done that.
Yes, women are volatile creatures but IMO, their selfishness and their instincts for self preservation trumps their emotional nature (check CEX: Their Core Characteristics on the right) so they rarely make rash decisions that will seriously hurt them in either the short or medium term. By the time they kick a man to the curb most women have long since worked out their exit "strategy" (read: other man / men): "Women are like monkeys - they never let go of one branch until they have their hands on another."
Any man who thinks that his woman just woke up one day and decided to destroy their family or relationship is doubly blind. One, for failing to see that the relationship was going down like the Titanic and two, for never having picked up on the unbelievably cold and calculating nature of women.
U&L
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
TWO: Great Post (December 2008q)
6 comments:
Women don't fall out of love.
They fall out of attraction...i.e. lust.
Once a woman falls out of lust with her man, everything else will follow, and she will backward rationalize it all the way to divorce court/another man's bed.
Familiarity breeds contempt...so as a man in a long term relationship with ANY woman, you HAVE to find ways to NOT become "familiar."
Agreed but then I ask myself:
1 Who needs that kind of pressure?
2 What do most women have to offer in return?
3 What are the consequences of failing? and
4 What guarantee does a man have that even if he succeeds she won't eventually run into and off with someone who floats her boat in ways that he can't? Lust can be and usually is a very fleeting emotion.
Those questions - or perhaps I should say the answers to those questions are partly why I'm one and done as far as long term relationships go.
I don't mind the short term pressure or the challenge of trying to keep a lover satisfied and coming back for more until I'm ready to replace her - in fact, I quite enjoy it knowing full well that women have no shortage of options willing and ready to take my spot should I fail to keep their fire burning.
That said, knowing what I know about the nature of women in general and WW in particular, I have neither the confidence nor the inclination to keep them on the plan for more than 3 or 4 months.
Agreed U&L...most WW are not worth the time and effort.
One day, you may find one who is worth the effort..or you may not. The important thing for all men to understand is that you cannot look to a woman for your own happiness.
You must pursue your own path.
"The ONE" that would be worth the effort would be one that willingly and enthusiastically follows YOUR path and complements your efforts rather than compete with them...
...i.e. if you happen to find a traditional woman - which are nowadays very few and far between indeed.
"That said, knowing what I know about the nature of women in general and WW in particular, I have neither the confidence nor the inclination to keep them on the plan for more than 3 or 4 months."
You should post your own quote onto the website.
This is the result of having intimately known many women, and against the common belief, not becoming arrogant by it, but humbled.
The man who has very few women, is hungry for female attention, he will agree to the conditions she puts out, for a little bit of intimacy.
The man who has some women will be arrogant, comparing himself to the man described on top, and will in his arrogance, believe he can manage to satisfy that woman in any way possible to keep her around.. (wrong approach anyway)
A further way ahead is the man who has had lots of women, and this man, even though he has confidence in the context of getting women, will be humbled in the context of a relationship due to the things he has seen, heard, the committed women he shagged in ten minutes after meeting them, etc. to add to it, the humbling will be increased by the insight he has into female nature and the things a female is capable of, if her feelings tell her so.
I totally agree to your quote.
Hahahaha, are you kidding, Hawaiian?
With all due respect, your post is the reason why I don´t take anything married men say seriously anymore.
Thanks for the kind words z.g.
"This is the result of having intimately known many women, and against the common belief, not becoming arrogant by it, but humbled."
and humbled on so many levels:
Humbled at how long it took for me to figure out the game
Humbled by the average number of approaches it usually takes before I get a one night stand
Humbled by the realization that 98% of women would be willing & ready to dump their husband and kids if they could snag a man with serious PMS (power, money & status)
Humbled by the realization that the only way to know for certain that a woman is a genuinely good woman is after about 20 years which is about 20 years too late
Humbled by the number of times I've been at a girl's place and listened to them blow off dates or boyfriends with bullshit excuses and just thanking God that my days of being the sucker on the other end of the line were over as long as I remained vigilent and dumped them before they dumped me
And perhaps most depressingly, humbled by the devestating realization that even when a girl really likes you (or claims to love you) it is on such a shallow and ephemeral level. Women simply don't love us as deeply as we love them: The one time I can say that I truly loved a girl I would have fucking DIED for her. IMO, that's real love and anything less is a cheap substitute.
How many of us can truthfully say that aside from maybe our mothers we've ever known a woman who would die or even risk her life for us (pick whatever hypothetical situation you like)?
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